america's next top model ...

Trainspotting is a healthy and useful interest, but these days I spend more time Chavspotting (or Prefectspotting).

We took up a position on Littlehampton seafront yesterday in search of chavs, within three minutes this magnificent specimen turned up, and unknowingly posed for my camera!

Just study it closely, the hand grasping a polystyrene punnet of oven chips, the bleached hair with contrasting roots, the bulbous belly complete with septic belly-button piercing and, wonderously, a Sun duffle bag!! It just doesn't get any better than this.

recycling heaven

As the prefects have decided that we can all manage to fill just one bin every two weeks we had to take one Land Rover's load of rubbish (a week's worth!) to Bristol's lovely dump. Not sure who decided it should be in the middle of Bristol rather than the outskirts but I suspect it was some chinless socialist prefect.

Now the dump itself is lovely and well organised, and recycling always gives a warm glow, but how on earth is residents using thousands of cars (and very scarce petrol) somehow more ecologically sound than having a few lorries do the extra collection each week? It took us about an hour to drive the four miles back the traffic was so appalling. And much of it along routes earmarked for Bristol's superb Supertram which is STILL postponed!!

So unless the prefects want the chavs dropping their litter on the prefects' gravel drives they better start looking at two options - restoring weekly collections and GET THAT FUCKING TRAMWAY BUILT!!

reflections

This would be an ideal picture for a caption competition. This is some sort of monk spotted in a footie club who appears either to have died or entered a semi-trance state. Note smoker behind!!

taking the bus to town

Sometimes a group of chavs just can't manage to steal a car in time and have to resort to using the bus. This small group are waiting for the 75 into town where they'll hit TK Maxx and MacDonalds before coming back again to watch Bid Up on the telly.

entertainment

In Hartcliffe the ultimate symbol of chav success is the trampoline. These sprung up in every garden a few years ago and from the air are reminiscent of the approach to Geneva airport with trampos instead of pools.

Pic shows four chavs exhausted after jumping up and down a couple of times.